Each year the SCWC*LA holds a writing contest in which all conferees are invited to participate. The rules are simple: Write a piece in any form you wish of no more than 250 words based on the topic announced Friday night. The topic for the 11th annual L.A. conference was “Bidet.” Stephanie Lewis of Carlsbad, CA is the writer of one of this year’s winning entry.
English Language Gone Astray
by
Stephanie Lewis
Would-be author Renee, dressed in gold lamé and a green beret (how passé)
Devoured a fillet, a cheese soufflé and Crème Brulee at Hyatt buffet (how gourmet)
during the conference’s soiree with guest writer, Robert Goulet, (wearing a toupee!)
who arrived in his Cabriolet, bearing gifts Cartier, Oil of Olay and floral bouquet.
After a game of croquet with her fiancé, she checked into her chalet (décor Feng Shui)
Putting aside her crochet, feeling blasé after too much Grand Marnier, (how cliché)
While reading Eat, Love, Pray in her risqué negligee (straight outa Caberet)
To her dismay, the toilet began to spray so she rang housekeeping to convey (her naiveté)
For alas… Renee had never seen an actual BIDET! (Oy Vey!)
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